who knows.....

alone.

i really honestly do.

day after day i do the same things. wake up. take the dogs out. eat something healthy. check facebook. check mindsay. think of something productive to do. read write watch something but only educational. Do something to better myself physically work out, tan, swim, walk. do something to advance me socially. im/text/comment/contact all the people i love who are worth saying hello and seeing how their day was. think of something that will be helpful. clean, cook, prepare something for my dad before he comes home. take the dogs out. check the computer again. listen to music. search for a job. work out. go to the mall. txt somemore. write somemore. wish i wasnt here some more. wish i did feel alone.

day after day its all the same.
im working with everything in me to try not to let myself feel useless and feel like im just wasting air and all that depressing shit that goes throu my head when im home....but on nights like these its really difficult.